"Volunteering Your Life Away..."

I have a very dear friend who is as honest as the day is long...
Is as hard working as they come...
Would give you the shirt off her back...

Next week she will be fired from her job, and one more stress fracture will probably show in her marriage because of it.

She is a great person, but unfortunately, she is TOO DARN BUSY.

Her husband and she do not know each other any more, and her kids have to schedule an appointment to say "hello".
It's o.k. she says, when I see them I make sure it is "quality time" ;)

She is Busy all right - Busy in the worst possible way!

She fills every waking moment of her calendar with events that are very well meaning, but do very little for her bottom line, and because there is no rhyme or reason to her volunteer work, it creates a life of half filled promises to those she says are the "most important ones" in her life and partially completed projects at work. The plans she made late last year for becoming a real estate investor - these were the fist victims of her hectic schedule.

In fact, by the time she finishes with the church choir, the YMCA Board, the HOA Beautification Committee, and the Chamber of Commerce meetings, she has little to no time left for her family. In addition, her volunteer activities require that she constantly leave work "on time" and she has little to no time to go the extra mile with her job.

"I'm sorry, what about the status of her investing plans and the promises she made to herself at Year's end...?

FORGET ABOUT IT!!

After a full day at work and full evening of volunteer duties, "who has time...?"

She tells herself constantly, "it's o.k., I wasn't really as serious about this real estate thing after all ... there is always next year to get serious..." Foolishly she thinks the extra hours she devotes to "just one more event" is going to make a huge difference in the life of someone else, while in the meantime her children and her husband go starving for the attention she committed to giving to them... time and attention hijacked by yet another "worthwhile event".


The worst guy I ever worked for, back when I had a full time job, let a lot of garbage fall out of his mouth on an almost hourly basis. In fact, you could set your clock based on what stupid thing he would say next. But even in the scrambled mess he had for brains, he did manage from time to time to get out a piece of sage advice. His best phrase was, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions".

Won't comment on the "road to hell" (I have other plans for my afterlife), but I will say "the Road To Poverty, or "the Road to Failure", or "the Road to Misery" is paved with good intentions.

I will never forget the "mini-lecture" a group of us received during my 2nd year in the MBA program at Wharton. As with many "B" Schools, Wharton had a very active Club network. There was a club for EVERYTHING! And one particular club had the benefit of having its invitation accepted by John Johnson the Founder and CEO of Johnson Publishing to come to Philadelphia to speak. At the end of the speech, Mr. Johnson took a small group of us out to dinner, and during the early part of dinner he asked each of us to go around the table and discuss our plans for the future. At one point, one of the other members of the dinner party started to boast about how they were getting through school and "volunteering for this charity" and "volunteering for that event". Instead of the "pat on the head" they were looking for, Mr. Johnson looked as if he were about to explode and then uttered some of the most profound words I have ever heard from a multi-millionaire.

His exact comment was, "Save the volunteer stuff for when you are rich!... G-d opened up a door for you to be here and now, don't waste it by focusing on everything except what is most important - getting a great education and going on to do what others will never be given the chance to do. Then you can make time for your volunteer work" He then immediately went into the story of how when he was still a "very young, but highly successful business man" Martin Luther King, Jr. came to visit him in Chicago to discuss the plans that were being made for the civil rights march on Selma, Alabama. The more Dr. King spoke about the plans and "this historic moment in time", the more excited Mr. Johnson became, so excited in fact that at one point he screamed out "YES!, let's do it, I'm ready!! I'll rent a bus and I'll personally drive down all my employees!"

Suddenly the room went completely silent, and diligently trying to gain his composure, Martin Luther King leaned across Mr. Johnson's desk and said quite firmly, "we didn't come up here to get you to drive a bus, we came up here because we need you to pay for all this!", and in that split second in time, Mr. Johnson relayed to us that he suddenly realized what G-d had called him to do. Slowly he repeated his thoughts on the topic of filling your calendar with volunteer duties: "G-d has opened up a door - just for you. Not everyone can do what you do, or knows what you know. Do what you are called to do, then make time to do your charity work".

Today I see so many people who, like my friend, have confused activity for progress. Particularly in the area of volunteer work. If volunteer work takes so much out of you that there is little to nothing left for your family, your job, your partner or for you - Then you have made a huge sacrifice for Nothing! Volunteering for "everything" does not make you more important, it only makes you less effective! Unfortunately, often times the relationships which tend to get trampled the most when you over commit are those which G-d specifically gave to you to be responsible for. Selah.

Next week my friend is going to get the ax, I know, and she will stand around asking the question: "What happened...? I am a good person, and always the first in line to volunteer...?"

Employers would rather have employees with "o.k." personalities and know how to get a job done, then one with great personalities, but continuously miss deadlines. Partners would rather have partners and team members who are reliable and can "deliver" than folks who are "well liked" but can never get their assignments in on time.

Next week my friend is going to get WHACKED, she will never know what happened. While the senior management of the company was meeting to make decisions that day as to "who stays and who goes", one other senior person was noticeably absent, she was out that day, volunteering...